funny story
After an exhausting, week-long festival I was getting a lift back home in a car full of my friends. We were coming up over a mountain road with a really beautiful ocean view just on sunset.
I’ll never forget the outburst that followed when I said “wow it’s so beautiful, and it’s even a full sun!”
I momentarily forgot that only moons have phases, and that the sun is generally always ‘full’ … my friends have never let me live it down.
(via ugly)
Today, I fucked up… by laughing at my son’s penis
Let me first start off by saying that my son’s penis is perfectly normal. There is nothing wrong with it, and it is a normal size…or at least I think so for a toddler.
Anyways, this FU began as I was getting my son ready for nap time. He’s just starting to get into potty training and we encourage him to try before he takes his nap.
Well some kids get a little silly when they’re tired, and my son is one of them. So he sits on his porcelain throne and is just generally wiggling around as toddlers do. I remind him to “tuck in your penis” so it’s pointing down into the bowl. Just as he starts poking it down he starts getting a baby boner.
Now if you’re not a parent you might not realize, but toddlers get boners just like guys do every once and awhile, and if you ignore them they usually go away in a few minutes. Well this time he wasn’t ignoring it. He sat hunched over and realized for the first time that he could move his penis without touching it.
He started jerking it up and down with his muscles and giggling with delight. As a parent you have to keep a straight face in these situations, because if you crack a smile and start laughing…he’ll think it’s hilarious and you’ll have a repeat performance every chance he gets.
I couldn’t do it though, it was just too funny. I started laughing, and my laughing made him laugh even more. And then it happened. He started peeing. But he had never poked it down, his penis was in the wind. And with his baby boner still intact it was like a water pistol just spraying. He soaked me and half the bathroom, and when I tried to push it down it just popped back up again.
He’s sleeping now, the bathroom is cleaned, I’ve taken a shower…and I really hope he doesn’t remember this next time he goes to the bathroom. Because he thought it was hilarious.
TL;DR Laughed at baby boner…it turned into a super soaker.
(via ugly)
- Friend: are you okay?
- Me: short answer or long answer?
- Friend: short answer?
- Me: no
- Friend: long answer?
- Me: noooooooooooooooooo
